Somebody nominated me to be a test item writer for Alaska’s NCLB-mandated science tests. I have the application on my desk. DO THEY REALIZE WHAT THEY DID? Well, I’ve always known the whole NCLB thing is a crock that is being promoted by a bunch of idiots who want to either destroy public education, carry out cultural genocide, or just see how big of a practical joke they can pull off before they come out of their offices chuckling and say, “Just kidding. You didn’t really believe we thought that would actually work, did you? DID YOU?” The saddest thing is all of the grief that is being caused by this insane effort to measure and punish, test and sanction. So given my feelings and the stupidity of the entire standards movement, of course they don’t know what they’re doing.

Too bad I’m not in charge of the world. But hey, at least I get to see how stuff gets done. I’ve asked a few people if I should accept this honor and they say, “Well…yeah. We need skeptics to be involved in the process.” My attitude goes way beyond skepticism.

It might be fun to get to go to a fancy hotel for 3 days and see who else shows up. I wonder if teachers from rural Alaska, where the schools are having a hard time, are as resistant as I am.

I suppose I’ll have to listen to a bunch of jargon about AYP and GLE’s, and other similar nonsense. I hate those meetings! I get a stomach ache when they start getting technical. I’m a little afraid to go. I might say something. I’ll have to journal like crazy to keep from going nuts. I can take my camera, but that might be too weird.

As I think about it, I’m beginning to want them to accept my application. It makes me feel hopeful there is still enough chaos in the world to restore some balance .

Maybe I’ll get an invitation to the Republican convention next time they have one. ;)